Body Shaming Disguised as Motivation
There I was, leisurely scrolling through Facebook, looking at a few friend updates and funny memes. Suddenly, I saw it. “Women over 160 lbs.! Want to get back in shape?” It was like being smacked in the face with body shaming disguised as motivation.
I decided to do what I do best: take a deep breath, chuckle at the absurdity, and think about what this says about society, health, self-love, and the hilarious misadventures of social media algorithms.
Facebook’s algorithm is basically that one friend who thinks they know everything but actually knows nothing. It observes your online patterns, picks up clues, and then serves you personalized ads. Sometimes they’re helpful, often they’re hilariously off-base.
Recently, they’ve been pushing ads aimed at “women over 160 lbs.,” with a call to “get back in shape.” But if you pause and really reflect, it’s like the universe’s unintentional comedy show, because the platform assumes women over a certain weight are inherently less “in shape” and need fixing.
This hits close to home for me. In 2022, I was over 300 pounds. My body carried weight that felt like a daily challenge. Over the last few years, I’ve lost more than half of that, settling into a healthy, comfortable weight between 155 and 162 pounds. I’m 5'7", and my body now feels stronger, more energetic, and happier. But my journey wasn’t about hitting a specific number or conforming to societal ideals. It was about understanding my own health, my own feelings, and what it truly means to live well for me.
And here’s the thing - health isn’t a number on a scale or a particular body type. It’s about feeling good, having vitality, and doing what makes your body happy. I wish I’d loved myself more when I was over 300 pounds. I miss that girl sometimes - her courage, her resilience, her unapologetic existence. Because I realize now that self-love isn’t something I should have waited for.
The Augustan-era poet Virgil is said to have once written that “the greatest wealth is health.” That wisdom rings true regardless of size or shape. For me, the transformation was as much mental as physical; less about societal standards and more about how I felt in my skin - confident, capable, and alive.
So, when the ads target “women over 160 lbs.,” implying they need to “get back in shape,” I see outdated thinking. For some, like me, 160 lbs. is a milestone of strength and confidence. For others, it’s just a number. The truth is, health and happiness are deeply personal, and no one else gets to define that for you.
There’s a famous quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson that I tend to use as a go-to in a lot of life’s predicaments. It fits in beautifully here.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
You don’t need to fit into a prescribed weight or shape because an ad campaign or societal norm says so. You are already enough - at whatever weight you carry – as long as you’re prioritizing your mental and physical health. My own journey revealed that pursuing health is about finding what felt right for me, not what some algorithm or industry dictates.
Imagine if these Facebook ads were brutally honest instead of feeding you bullshit:
“Hey, women over 160 lbs.…remember, you’re fabulous and perfectly healthy. But if you want to lose some weight, do it for YOU, not because some algorithm told you to.”
Or even better, a billboard that states:
“Being in shape is what YOU decide, not what society dictates.”
Because the reality is, one person’s “in shape” is another’s “living their best life.” The real joke? We’ve all been duped into chasing someone else’s perfection instead of celebrating our own.
There’s a quote by Buddha that resonates: “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” I’m not a Buddhist, but that hits hard.
Loving yourself, in all your forms, is the foundation of true health. I wish I’d embraced that girl at 300 pounds more fully. I wish I’d loved myself then, instead of waiting for some ideal weight to feel worthy. Sometimes, I miss that version of myself - not because of the weight, but because of her bravery and perseverance. I don’t know if I’m as much of those things anymore.
This journey has taught me that health isn’t a universal number or body type. It’s about feeling alive - whether that’s lifting weights, doing yoga, enjoying your favorite foods, or simply loving the body you’re in right now. Bodies are shaped by genetics, experiences, and choices. No two are the same. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer.
And no matter where you are on your path, remember: your worth isn’t dictated by a Facebook ad, societal standards, or a number on a scale. It’s rooted in love for yourself, respect for your body, and choices that nurture your well-being.
So next time you see “Women over 160 lbs. — get back in shape,” take a moment, smile, and remind yourself that your worth isn’t determined by a number or societal expectation. As long as you’re caring for your mental and physical health and doing what makes you feel alive, then you are already in the perfect shape for you. Your body is a beautiful, unique masterpiece, and your health is measured by how good you feel living your life. I wish someone had told 300+ lb. Charlotte that, as I’d really like to have loved her then as I do now.
Celebrate your journey, embrace your progress, and love yourself at every step. Because the only shape that truly matters is the one that makes you feel most alive and authentic.
And always remember that loving yourself as you are is the most empowering act of all. Tune out the external noise that tries to tell you you’re not enough and focus on what truly honors your well-being. That’s where real health begins.