Sunburns Fade, but Vallarta Memories Last Forever

Puerto Vallarta is no secret. With its lush jungle-meets-beach scenery and year-round as close to perfect as you can get weather, its praises are sung far and wide. But did you know it’s also pretty fantastic if you’re here for something deeper than Instagrammable cocktails and sunburns shaped like fanny packs?

Yes, Puerto Vallarta has resorts, tequila tastings, and parasailing. But it also has waterfalls, jungle trails, secret taco alleys, and cocktails that don’t cost $22. I welcome you to come along with me as I dive headfirst into all that goodness.

Numero Uno:

Let’s start strong with a boat ride and a waterfall. It’s a choose-your-own-adventure novel with snacks and swimsuits.

Start by catching a water taxi (panga) from Boca de Tomatlán, a charming in its own sleepy fishing village kind of way. Your destination? Quimixto. It’s a small town that feels like it forgot the internet existed. From there, hike 30-45 minutes inland with the possibility of the occasional curious goat for company.

The waterfall at the end? Chef’s kiss, especially in the summer’s rainy season. Cool, clear water, a modest restaurant nearby for a post-hike cerveza, and far fewer people than you’ll ever find at a resort pool.

Bring water, a swimsuit, bug spray, and the knowledge that your calves will be sore, but your soul will be cleansed!

Numero Dos:

Say “Pitillal” to most tourists and you’ll get confused stares. Say it to a local, and they’ll get misty-eyed over the best carnitas they’ve ever eaten.

This neighborhood is where many real Vallartans live, eat, shop, and argue over who makes the best tamales. Not sure why all the arguing, though, as I can assuredly answer that! It’s Cenaduría Tía Anita on 5 de Mayo near the corner of Abasolo. I mean, they even do a tamal de fresa! For that, and their many other offerings as reasons, I will hear of no other answer!!

While in Pitillal, walk down Calle Juárez to find taco stands with no names but plenty of regulars, as well as panaderías that still bake with love and lard.

Numero Tres:

If you like the idea of earning your beach day, a hike from Boca to Las Animas is for you.

This jungle hike is a few miles of shade, sea views, and “are we lost” style bonding. You’ll pass hidden beaches, swaying bridges, and pop-up fruit vendors selling chilled coconuts and mango slices with chili and lime.

Once in Las Animas, you can eat lunch with your toes in the sand, order a very cold beer, and then loudly and ever so proudly declare to strangers, “WE WALKED HERE!!”

Numero Cuatro:

Most people think “botanical garden” and imagine a quiet stroll through some polite tulips. But the Vallarta Botanical Gardens are here to change your life.

It’s 64 acres of wild beauty. Orchids, butterflies, jungle trails, and yes, a restaurant where the basil comes straight from the greenhouse and the views come straight from a fairytale. You can even swim in the river that runs along the property, so bring your suit!

Numero Cinco:

Right in the middle of town lies Isla Rio Cuale, a peaceful little island where you can stroll at your own pace.

There are shady benches, lots and lots of adorable cats, local artisan stalls, and one of the quietest spots to just sit and listen to the river gurgle while you contemplate your next churro.

You can also pop into Centro Cultural Center for free art exhibits, language classes, or to just feel smarter than your travel companions.

Numerous Seis:

Mirador La Cruz is technically “on the tourist radar,” but oddly, not as many people as you may think seem to actually do it.

It’s a short(ish), but steep, staircase to a lookout point perched high above downtown Vallarta. Climb it in the late afternoon, bring a cold drink and your phone, and wait for golden hour to slap you in the face with joy.

You’ll have a view of Bahia de Banderas in front of you, the Sierra Madre mountains behind you, and your newly toned thighs beneath you.

Numero Siete:

Tequila’s cool. Mezcal is its smokier cousin. But raicilla? That’s the wild agave child who ran away from home to make art in the mountains.

This locally distilled spirit is made in tiny batches, often with zero tech, and tastes like Mexico itself: smoky, funky, and slightly misunderstood.

Skip the tourist shops. Hop on the bus to take you to small local distilleries near El Tuito or San Sebastián. They’ll pour it into a recycled Coke bottle, you’ll sip it under a palapa, and suddenly you’ll know more about yourself than therapy ever taught you.

Numero Ocho:

On certain nights in certain conditions, the waters near Los Arcos light up with bioluminescent plankton. They’re these tiny glowing wonders that sparkle when disturbed. A bit like me!

Join a nighttime kayak tour and paddle into the dark, then watch as your oars, and probably your squeals of delight, disturb the water into glowing blue. It’s like living inside a Pixar movie, minus the musical number. Surreal, silent, magical, and moody!

Numero Nueve:

If you’re the type of person who thinks breakfast is the best part of vacation, you are an incredibly smart traveler, indeed!

Desanyuno in Puerto Vallarta is what I imagine ambrosia and nectar were to the Greek gods. There are an abundance of restaurants serving up the most delicious chilaquiles, birria, tamales, and Cafe de Olla in clay mugs, all at a table on the sidewalk or the beach.

Watch as Vallarta wakes up! You’ll see vendors setting up fruit carts, abuelitas walking their dogs, and tourists still wearing yesterday’s club clothes.

It’s a vibe. A delicious, tortilla-filled vibe.

Numero Diez:

This one’s a twofer! In Puerto Vallarta, birds, butterflies, and beasts show up like they own the place, which, honestly, they kind of do.

First up is El Salado Estuary. It’s a protected mangrove sanctuary filled with birds, fish, and the occasional crocodile.

Take a guided boat tour, learn about the local ecosystem, and leave feeling smarter. And perhaps a bit relieved that you didn’t become some croc’s midday snack.

Next up is the Mariposario Jardín Mágico, a butterfly sanctuary so ridiculously magical that it’s almost hard to believe. Wander through gardens as hundreds of butterflies float around like they’re auditioning for a slow-motion nature documentary.

It’s peaceful, beautiful, and a great place to pretend you’re Snow White being dramatically followed by wildlife while singing. Or maybe it’s just me who does that??

Puerto Vallarta isn’t just about beach clubs and banana boats. It’s a playground of hidden coves, jungle trails, family-run taco stands, and stories you’ll tell forever. You just have to know where to look (or hike).

So, skip the tours. Take the path with more dust and less signage. Smile at abuelitas. Try the thing that looks spicy. And if you get a little lost? Even better. You’ll find your way. And you’ll be a hell of a lot better for it!